Canadian Humour, Satirical News and Hard-Hitting News.
Bringing you the best Canadian satire since 2001.

HNN - The Hammer News Network

Welcome to The Hammer News Network - The official media centre for The Hammer. This area will be updated with multi-media files, both old and new, for your enjoyment.

Audio

Assorted Media

Formats Description
Ménage-a-McGraw: The Bidet

Buford McGraw goes on a wild ride with Bruce Hernuffegan of the Canadian Bidet Council (CBC) and his bidet.

Breakfast on Beckwith

Smiths falls radio in the morning, wake up with Buford McGraw

Part 2 in our 'Rejected by the CBC' Series: Poetry Hoedown at the Legion

Small town life is simple for a reason, and Buford McGraw just can't take it anymore... Slamming a well known Canadian act, pissing off small-town folk and getting a touch of that darn Spontaneous Combustion again are all reasons why this clip didn't make the finals

Part 1 in our 'Rejected by the CBC' Series: Meditation at Tommy Hunter Park

Buford McGraw open's yet another beer and interviews mediation expert Jerome Jerkoby. A bored host, an irritated guest and a small-town's crippling debt makes for interestingly bad radio.

Ménage-a-McGraw: Kyoto

"...how effective can Kyoto be, even if we do meet our targets here in Canada, without the participation of the world's biggest polluter, the US? Not to mention major polluters like China, India and Liechtenstein..."

Uncle Irv's Discount Lingerie Valentine's Day Specials!

Looking for a last minute gift for your partner, spouse and/or mistress? Every year--because we feel sorry for him--we give our Uncle Irv some free advertising on Valentine's day. Take a listen!

Coming this year on HNN

Buford McGraw gives you a glimpse at some of the innovative and one-of-a-kind news programs coming this year on HNN.

Bush Pledges to Bring Rogue Tsunami to Justice

"Swarthy people of Asia, you have my assurance that this... the tsunami, and the earthquake that caused it, will be dealt with the most extreme of severity. Just as we have caught Osama Bin Laden..."

Ménage-a-McGraw speaks to Miles Kelton of Operation Red Liver

Nothing says Christmas like getting really loaded. Between office parties, spouse's office parties, family gatherings and just good-old-fashion holiday drunkenness, the holidays are a time of heavy, heavy consumption. How does one get oneself around after one case too many?

Breaking News: Jesus Returns to Earth

Is this second coming? And is there a connection between our saviour's appearance and the supreme court's gay marriage ruling?

Ménage a McGraw speaks to James Fallowshield of the Canadian Association of Yak Breeders

James Fallowshield joins Buford McGraw to discuss the Canadian government's decision to ban yak hair exports to Mongolia.

The New Nirvana Box Set: Mining Kurt's Grave for a Few More Bucks

NIRVANA: The band that popularized the "grunge" rock movement and made Seattle the music capital of the world in the early 90's. Now, 10 years after Kurt Cobain's death, every unreleased note, utterance and grunt the band ever caught on tape has been assembled in the new box set...

McGraw and McGraw Human Rights Lawyers

McGraw and McGraw human rights lawyers make human rights abusers PAY PAY PAY!

Comic Can't Figure Out What the Deal is with Reality TV

No really! What's going on there? Can someone tell me? Please?

Kerry Once Again Reminds Voters He's Not Bush

"Just another friendly reminder, I am not George W. Bush."

Harper Demonstrates Flemish Fluency

Noted Belgiophile and leader of the opposition Stephen Harper answered reporter's questions in Flemish during a scrum earlier today.

Slam Poet Promoted to Head Greeter at Walmart

Jeremy Illiac, one of the premier slam poets in the greater Cornwall area, has been promoted to head greeter at the Walmart store where he has worked for seven years.

"Well I'm a happy wage slave, just working for the man, going to save up all my money, go to Florida, get a tan..."

A Visit to Liz's Used Discount Submarines
"We have a tremendous selection of value priced subs...this one is a '79, low mileage, lady driven..."
Buford McGraw's School of Small Talk Development

How about that local sporting team, eh?

Government Workers Hold World's Largest Smoke Break

"Don't Ask me, I'm on Break!"

Steroid-Free Sprinter in Athens

"Coming from a poor country, I can not afford undetectable, designer performance enhancing drugs, but the Olympics are all about the spirit of competition..."

  The Blackout First Anniversary
The Ontario government has buckled down and introduced the "The Power is on... or is it" hot-line. And that's about it.
Vacation in New Brunswick Commercial
"It's Canada's drive-through province!"
Pettigrew Gets Tough With Iran

"Nobody whitewashes the wheels of justice under Pierre Pettigrew's watch..."

Issues

Formats Description
Issue 58, Pulse of the Nation, Poll ticker, Liberal ad, Omega Superior Flowers, Bloc Québécois Alberta Candidate (view issue)
Issue 57, Stephen Harper, Paul Martin talking with George Bush and the Wacko Alliance (view issue)
Issue 56, Same-sex skaters, Montreal performance artist Gadzoa, and Vinyl Café Tour Riots (view issue)

 

Video

Issues

Formats Description
 

2003

Formats Description
 

Older stuff - 2001-2003

The Hammer TV Presents:
Don Cherry is wrong about visors in the NHL!

The Hammer's 50th Issue! An Exclusive interview with the chief himself, Buford McGraw!

The Hammer TV Presents:
The Hammer Mobile in the Fireball Enduro at the Cornwall Speedway?
(RealPlayer Video format, 5 minutes 13 seconds)

September 2003

The Hammer TV Presents:
What did you do to Conserve Energy during the 2003 Blackout?
(RealPlayer Video format, 3 minutes 16 seconds)

From The BlackOut 2003 Special Issue, Issue 48, August 2003

Listen to the Ontario Government's new "Power is on. Or is it" hotline.
(RealPlayer Audio format, 1 minute 6 seconds)

From Government of Ontario Launches New Power Alert System , Issue 48, August 2003

The National with....
(RealPlayer Audio format, 1 minute 47 seconds)

NEW- HAMMER TV!
Watch Finland's Funniest comic in action, Jürho Kanlikalinennen!
(RealPlayer Video format, 1 minute 51 seconds)

New Anti-Spontaneous Combustion Drug, curing spontaneous combustion....Fast.
(RealPlayer format, 1 minute 37 seconds)

From Controversial New Anti-Spontaneous Combustion Drug Enters Canadian Market, Issue 12, October 2001

Listen to an excerpt of Hamish Morose beating himself up in the National Beat-Yourself-Up Championship.
(RealPlayer format, 1 minute 13 seconds)

From B.C. Man Wins National Beat-Yourself-Up Championship For Third Consecutive Year, Issue 44, June 2003

TheHammer.ca's newest sponsor Dave Little Orgy Consultants, meeting all your orgy needs.
(RealPlayer format, 1 minute 3 seconds)

From Thehammer.ca welcomes its newest sponsor, Dave Little Orgy Consultants, Issue 43, May 2003

Federal book reading inspector's investigate door-to-door.
(RealPlayer format, 1 minute and 5 seconds)

From Canada Book Week, 2003: Canadians Ordered to Read Novel as Part of National Book Club, Issue 42, April 2003

Wounded Racoon Records recording artists the Brothers McGraw performing their 1999 anthem, The Neo-Conservative Folk Singer.
(MP3 format, 3 minutes and 7 seconds (warning: some explicit language))

From Radical Poets Urge U.S. to Invade Iraq, Hold Pro-War Poetry Readings Across Continent, Issue 38, February 2003

Minister Pettigrew and ravenous parliamentary reporters looking for blood
(RealPlayer, 1 Minute in length)

From Pettigrew Suffering From Split End, Issue 38, February 2003

RRSP Advice from The Hammer
(RealPlayer, 2 Minutes and 8 seconds in length)

The latest CBC-Yukon newscast
(RealPlayer, 20 seconds in length)

From Yukon Journalists Demand News, Issue 38, February 2003

Top 12 Reasons why Canada should be moved to the South Pacific
(RealPlayer, 2 Minutes and 14 seconds in length)

From Canada to be Moved to South Pacific, Issue 37, January 2003

The Hammer's Round Table Discussion on Privitizing Canadian Medicare
(RealPlayer, 5 Minutes and 24 seconds in length)

Ralph Klein's Latest Commercial on the Down side of Kyoto
(RealPlayer, 1 Minute and 16 seconds in length)

From Alberta Government Launches Aggressive New Kyoto Blows Campaign,
Issue 35, December 2002

February 2002, Episode 2
(RealPlayer, 18 Minutes and 33 seconds in length)
* Government of Madagascar Overthrown in Haiku d'État
* Naked Man Unable to Find Work
* Wounded Racoon Records "Rob Zombie's Greatest Hits"
* Ottawa Sun Employment Opportunity
* Roundtable Discussion on Canada's Health Care System
* Impact on Civil Liberties in the Wake of 9/11
January 2002, Episode 1
(RealPlayer, 17 Minutes and 33 seconds in length)
* Money To Buy Happiness
* CPAC Watched
* The Scottish Accent
* Wounded Racoon Records "100 Sound Effects of The Stars"
* The Flemish Independence Movement
* Pretentious Movie Reviews
* Lake Inferior Demands Great Lake Status
* Military Bottle Drive

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