Most of Nova Scotia's Stop signs are now bilingual English/Finnish, yet another example of the creeping Finnish dominance of the Maritime provinces, according to Howard Bigotron of the Anti-Finland League.

Atlantic Canada must strongly resist the growing influence of Finland and the Finnish language, according to the Maritime District President of the Anti-Finland League. At a Halifax press conference yesterday to announce a new "Let's Finish with Finnish" publicity campaign, AFL Maritime leader Howard Bigotron criticized the leaders of Canada's maritime provinces for their "blatant pandering towards the powerful Finnish lobby," while accusing them of succumbing to "rampant political correctness."

Said Bigotron: "Over the years, the Finns have quietly, yet ruthlessly wrestled control of Atlantic Canada's political institutions, to the point where Non-Finns feel as though they are second class citizens. It's high time for our political leaders to take action."

The Anti-Finland League, an obscure yet controversial Toronto-based pressure group which claims a Canadian membership of six, has been lobbying federal, provincial and municipal representatives to curtail the Finnish influence in Canada for 24 years.

Bigotron cited several examples of the growing Finnish influence in the Maritimes, including Nova Scotia's edict declaring mandatory Finnish language education for all elementary and secondary school students last year, Moncton City Council's adoption of Finnish as an official language in July, Charlottetown's wildly popular 'Everything is Bleak' annual Finnish film festival and the Government of New Brunswick's recent decision to accept applications from Finns only for certain government job postings and to switch government computers from Microsoft Windows to the Linux Operating System, invented by Finn Linus Torvalds.

"Don't let their dour expression and passive personalities fool you," said Bigotron. "It starts with Moncton, but who knows where it finishes? These Finns are clearly hellbent on world domination."

Gerry McJones, an Antigonish, N.S. truck driver, isn't a member of the AFL, but when randomly called at home and asked about the Finnish influence in Nova Scotia, he sympathized with Bigotron and his group.

Anti-Finland League Official Howard Bigotron addresses two reporters, a guy claiming to be a photographer and his parents at his organization's "Let's Finnish with Finnish" press conference from his basement apartment, which doubles as AFL Maritime Headquarters, in Halifax yesterday.

"Oh, he's right, the Finnish are taking over. Nowadays, you can't even get a job pumping gas round these parts if you don't speak Finnish," insisted McJones. "And the way those Finnish tourists come here every summer and flaunt their wealth with their flashy trousers and gold plated bracelets and strut about town as if they own the place, talking loudly into their cell phones and complaining about the quality of our sauna baths and how the kalakukko is too salty, I tell ya, it's enough to make a Swede blush......

"Don't get me wrong, I got nothing against the Finnish, so to speak, I….I mean, I have plenty of Finnish friends, I just resent having Finnish shoved down my throat, that's all," said McJones.

Bigotron also discussed how the "Finnish lobby" has tried to discredit him and his organization by invoking the racism card. "Despite the obvious Pro-Finlandization, Finns-first agenda of Canadian governments, if we speak out against this unassailable truth, immediately we're branded as prejudiced, or racist, by these Finnish special interest groups.

"Therein lies the power of the Finns, who will assassinate the character of anyone who speaks the truth about the control the Finnish have in the Maritime provinces," claimed the AFL firebrand.

Canada's largest Finnish community group was understandably outraged with the Anti-Finland League's pronouncements. Pukka Timonen, a spokesperson for the Canadian Organization of Finns and Flems (COFF), accused the AFL and specifically, Bigotron, of spreading disinformation and malice towards Canada's Finns.

"This is preposterous. Mr. Bigotron is foolish, demented man. We really don't know why you media people keep going to his press conferences. If he wasn't so serious looking, we'd be sure it was some sort of joke."

However, a splinter Finnish organization contradicted COFF's portestations. "No, Mr. Bigotron is absolutely spot-on. We Finns are working on taking over the world. What are you going to do about it?" taunted Teemu Heppalinenen, Secretary of the militant Atlantic Finn Federation.