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The 25 Least Important Canadian Books

Late last week, the Literary Review of Canada, one of the few publications in the country less respected than thehammer.ca, released a chronological list of the 100 most important books in Canadian history.

After painstaking, exhaustive research, we have assembled the 25 Least Important Books in Canadian History. And unlike those lazy asses at the Literary Review, who compiled their list in chronological fashion, we ranked ours from least, to...less least important. So there. Here they are:

Death hasn't slowed down our most prolific historical author - he's written three new books since passing on
Masters of the sport
Personal hygiene has always been highly overrated at the McGraw compound
Fletcher MacCamerons' riveting tale of hardship among peasant Québécois gravy farmers in parochial, turn-of -the century Quebec has been enjoyed by dozens
A laugh every three seasons of programming, guaranteed or your money back
Always regarded as a good read after three or four bottles of scotch
  1. Maybe I'll Shower Tomorrow, Buford McGraw (2004)
  2. Sharecroppers of Chicoutimi, Fletcher MacCameron (1923)
  3. Well, Everything Should Be Just Fine Between Us Now: A Plains of Abraham Post Mortem, Admiral Charles Saunders (1760)
  4. Death: The First Six Months, Pierre Berton (2005)
  5. Royal Commission of the Inaugural Inquiry on the Report of Royal Commissions Into the Commission of Parliamentary Procedure Examining the Circumstances Surrounding the Commision of Inquiry into the Royal Commission Report on Royal Commissions, Senator Henry McFeely (1956)
  6. What Canadian Women Want, Stephen Harper (2003)
  7. More Stories About Broads for Old Biddies, Alice Munro (1976)
  8. 'Mike from Canmore' and Other Stories: An Illustrated History of Our Seven Laughs, The Royal Canadian Air Farce (1997)
  9. The René Lévesque Quit Smoking Plan for Patriotic Quebecers, Rene Levesque (1977)
  10. Boobies I Have Fondled, Sir John A. MacDonald (1881)
  11. Interminable: A Complete and Unedited History of Canadian Constitutional Deliberations, 1066-1999, Jack Granatstein (2000)
  12. Who Are All These Red People, and Why Won't They Let Me Do My Job?, Jacques Cartier (1535)
  13. The Stockwell Day Social Conservative Colouring Book, Stockwell Day and Ezra Levant (1999)
  14. The Kids of Degrassi Junior High Balance the Trade Deficit, Pat Mastroianni et al (1988)
  15. My Abdominal Muscles, My Contrived Native Heritage: A Life in Pseudo-Country Music, Shania Twain (2001)
  16. "Would you like to Supersize?": Career Prospects for Former Muchmusic VJs, Erica Ehm (1996)
  17. My First 1000 First Priorities, Paul Martin (2004)
  18. Breakdancing, the Margaret Atwood Way, Margaret Atwood and Bugaloo Shrimp (1984)
  19. Another Sleep-Inducing Novel, Michael Ondaatje (1989)
  20. The Secret Stanfield Tapes, Peter C. Newman (1979)
  21. The Mordecai Richler Workout Program, Mordecai Richler, with the cast of Bodybreak (1986)
  22. A Maple Leaf for Every Quebecer: My Dream for National Unity, Jean Chrétien (1996)
  23. I'll Never, Ever Get My Comeuppance, Conrad Black (1998)
  24. FORE! The Complete Book of Ottawa Senators Playoff Accomplishments, Alfredsson et al (2004)
  25. The Brian Mulroney Motherfucking Cocksucking Cookbook, Brian Mulroney (1990)

Posted on November 22nd, 2005


 

 
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