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Gomery Inquiry Merchandise Now Available

GOMERY GOMERY GOMERY!!!!!

Gomery-mania is running rampant across the country as the most anticipated publication since Tommy Hunter's Swingers' Guide to Thunder Bay is released to the Canadian public!

Just in time for Christmas, thehammer.ca, official supplier of Gomery Inquiry merchandise, in conjunction with Kilimanjaro Communications (where we bury you under an avalanche of invoices, guaranteed!), presents Gomery swag galore!

The Gomery Report

The Official GOMERY Report, Version 1.0
King James Version

featuring all of your favourite Gomerites, including the stern Bernard Roy, the comely Marie Cossette, the girlish Paul Martin and the surly Chuck Guite... durable enough for throwing across the room in frustration, or at the TV screen!

Only $39.99 (add $186,000 for delivery)

Justice John Gomery Big Foam Cowboy Hat

Let your friends know who's the number one sherrif in town with your very own Gomery big foam cowboy hat. Perfect for formal functions anywhere north of Timmins.

$24.99

Justice John Gomery 'domestic violence' tank top

$19.99 (Quebec residents receive a complimentary Canadian flag with every purchase)

Justice John Gomery Beefcake Poster

As seen on the cover of GQ! The most popular man in Quebec likes to show off his long hours in the gym whenever he gets the chance!

$9.99 (hurry, only 643,000 left!)

Jean Brault Mullet Pomade

Nothing says 'big bucket of class' like a Jean Brault mullet. Make it look its Chicoutimi best with Jean Brault brand mullet pomade. Accept no imitations.

$8.99 per four-litre drum, $1 per sampler

Official Leader of the Opposition Stephen Harper Talking Doll

Just pull the string and listen to Stephen say "we must end Liberal corruption" over and over and over again. (Sorry, only phrase available)

$25.99

Chretien-brand whitewash

suitable for all fences, as well as goverment inquiries into public malfeasance

$20.99 per cannister

Posted on November 1st, 2005


 

 

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Content on this site is satirical and intended for mature audiences.