Canadian Humour, Satirical News and Hard-Hitting News.
Bringing you the best Canadian satire since 2001.
The Office

Canadian Satire, Humour and Hard-Hitting News View theHammer.ca Headline Feed The Hammer PodCast - Great Canadian Satire and Conversations with the creator's of TheHammer.ca, Trevor and David The Hammer PodCast - Great Canadian Satire and Conversations with the creator's of TheHammer.ca, Trevor and David

Liberals Go Door-to-Door Forcing Guys to Marry Each Other

Liberals Go Door-to-Door Forcing Guys to Marry Each Other
Martin goes door-to-door in his Montréal riding imposing the new "lifestyle" change

On the same day Justice Minister Irwin Cotler tabled the controversial Bill C-38, An Act to Impose Gay Rule Over Canada, federal officials began going door-to-door last, forcing people to marry a same sex partner, regardless of their sexual orientation.

"The imposition of gay rule begins today. There is no point in waiting until the bill officially becomes law. If we are truly committed to destroying the Canadian family and traditional marriage, we have to get this going right away," declared Cotler.

"If you read the bill, you see that this is all spelled out in the legislation," he enthused adding that, earlier in the day, he had married his best friend, Bob.

To bolster support for Bill C-38 in his Montréal riding, Prime Minister Paul Martin and his new husband, a 24-year-old sculptor named Hermilde, were also going door-to-door.

Guy Laumont, 56, was visited by the PM at his home last night.

"He forced me to call my friend Gaston over to my house, and then he held us down, made us kiss one another and pronounced us married. I didn't know the prime minister had the power to do that, but he told me that he did," he said. "My wife's gonna freak when she finds out I married Gaston during her business trip."

Meanwhile, as part of the C-38 rollout, churches and other religious institutions across the country have been seized by the federal government, and clergy are being forced to perform gay and lesbian wedding ceremonies in round-the-clock same-sex marriage marathons.

"Just as we predicted," said Conservative Justice Critic Vic Toews. "Didn't we warn you that this was going to happen? Huh? Didn't we? Didn't we? I'm telling you Canadians, that wasn't a raindrop you just felt! It was the sky!"

All Canadians are reminded to remain in their homes for the next 48 hours to await the arrival of federal officials.

Posted on February 3rd, 2005


 

 

The Hammer - Canadian Satirical News, Stories and Hard-Hitting Headlines
©2004 Cancon10 Inc. [ Disclaimer and Privacy Notice ]
Content on this site is satirical and intended for mature audiences.