Canadian Humour, Satirical News and Hard-Hitting News.
Bringing you the best Canadian satire since 2001.
Advertise with TheHammer.ca for as low as $15 per month

Canadian Satire, Humour and Hard-Hitting News View theHammer.ca Headline Feed The Hammer PodCast - Great Canadian Satire and Conversations with the creator's of TheHammer.ca, Trevor and David The Hammer PodCast - Great Canadian Satire and Conversations with the creator's of TheHammer.ca, Trevor and David

Halifax Man Has Third Testicular Exam of the Week

Jeremy Lafarge eagerly anticipates yet another testicle exam

As a means of protecting himself against testicular cancer, 21-year-old Halifax resident Jeremy Lafarge has been undergoing rigorous testicle examinations three to four times a week.

Despite the constraints on his time, Lafarge heads to the downtown Halifax clinic of noted testicular specialist Dr. Jennifer Barthez "pretty well every other day," in his own estimation.

"After (Canadian comedian) Tom Green got it a couple of years ago, it really threw a scare into me. It's guys in my age group who are most at risk, so I figure I really should get it checked out by a medical professional on a regular basis," said Lafarge, a grocery store stockperson.

"From what Dr. Barthez told me, it's the type of thing that can creep up on you real quick. Sure, I might not have it on Monday, but by Wednesday, there might be a lump there that could warrant further investigation. Gotta nip it in the bud, man."

Added Lafarge: "I only trust her hands for finding those lumps, which can be very small and difficult to detect. Her hands are so.....sensitive and.......soft."

Lafarge is so adamant and vociferous about regular testicular check-ups, he has also convinced his circle of friends to join him in his regular trips to Dr. Barthez's clinic.

Dr. Jennifer Barthez: Atlantic Canada's foremost testicle specialist

Said Bill Winston, a co-worker of Lafarge's: "Dude, going down to the clinic is a blast. I was really….skeptical at first, but going to see Dr. Barthez is one hell of a way to spend a Friday night."

"Ya gotta go to the best, and I haven't found any doctor anywhere better than her," said a giggling Winston.

In fact, Dr. Barthez's office has become quite a hangout for young men in the Halifax area, with long line-ups of 20-something males commonplace in the doctor's waiting room, according to the army of regular visitors to the clinic of the renowned specialist.

In response to criticisms that she is focusing exclusively on testicular examinations at the expense of other patients with more pressing needs, Dr. Barthez became somewhat defensive, if not agitated:

"Testicular cancer is an epidemic. But it is highly treatable if detected early. I am proud to buy peace of mind for these young, attractive males. I consider myself the guardian of the well-being of their testicles."


Added Dr. Barthez: "I did not become a doctor so I could while away my days poking and prodding old, wrinkled, disgusting people with who knows what kind of hideous diseases. Gross."

For an authentic Dr. Jennifer Barthez testicular examination, send a photograph to Dr. Jennifer Barthez, TESTICULAR CLINIC and other medical stuff, Halifax, Nova Scotia, C2L 5Y8

Posted on July 27th, 2001


 

 

The Hammer - Canadian Satirical News, Stories and Hard-Hitting Headlines
©2004 Cancon10 Inc. [ Disclaimer and Privacy Notice ]
Content on this site is satirical and intended for mature audiences.