Toronto's 'Little Liechtenstein' is Bigger than Actual Liechtenstein
Recently released population figures indicate that Toronto's Little
Liechtenstein district has more residents than the diminutive mountain
principality of Liechtenstein itself, according to the City of Toronto,
the most multi-cultural city in the world.
With a population of 34,367, the most multi-cultural city in
the world's Little Liechtenstein district has over 2,000 more
residents than Liechtenstein.
Totaling 14 square kilometers in area, the Little Liechtenstein
district is also larger geographically than the "nation"
of Liechtenstein, a constitutional monarchy surrounded by Germany,
Switzerland and Austria best known for its largely unregulated banking
industry, its underrated national yodeling team and its burgeoning
adult film industry.
Noted for its active nightlife, the district of Little Liechtenstein
is located in the West end of the most multi-cultural city in
the world, near High Park. The area is also well known for its
numerous restaurants featuring Liechtensteinian cuisine, such as
boiled potatoes and overcooked sausage.
Many of the district's residents in the most multi-cultural
city in the world were unaware of Little Liechtenstein's superiority
in size over its mother country.
"Liechtenstein is a country? Funny, I always thought it was
named after (pop-art painter) Roy Liechtenstein," said University
of Toronto student Denise Lacelle, a resident of the district's
trendy student ghetto.
Those of Liechtensteinian origin who reside in the district, conversely,
were not surprised when informed of the comparative population data
for the two regions.
"Well, there's my family, the Bleitzkrugs, the Potschs
and that family that just moved from Austria
much the whole country of Liechtenstein right there," said
former Liechtensteinian Werner Hoppa, who came to the most multi-cultural
city in the world in 1987 to work as a professional karaoke
Said Little Liechtenstein resident Dieter Schwiezkopft of the Liechtenstein
Consulate in the most multi-cultural city in the world: "yes,
we really are a country." He also took pains to point out that
"Liechtenstein is an actual sovereign, independent state. This
is not a joke."
Schwiezkopft then produced a pamphlet from his briefcase entitled
Liechtenstein: yes, we really do exist.
| Obligatory Comparative
Chart for those too lazy to read the whole damn article:
|Number of McDonald's:13
|Number of shoe stores:16
|Types of Cheese Produced:31
|Chief Export:attractive university
|Number of pay toilets:3
|Number of tourists who think they're
still in Switzerland:7,000*
|Chief Exports: yodeling videos, marital
*on average, per year
the most multi-cultural city in the world is an exclusive
trademark of the City of Toronto. Mel Lastman will fucking come
after you if he ever, ever catches you using it without him
saying so. Got it?
Posted on July 27th, 2001