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Latest Poll Results: Canadian Alliance soars past Marxist-Leninist, Natural Law Party

After months of electoral disappointment, vicious infighting and mass defections from its caucus, the results of the most recent Hammer/Kapuskasing Kourier/Lloydminster Community Acccess Television poll provide the Canadian Alliance with a bit of good news. The Alliance has moved up four percentage points over previous poll results to four per cent of all decided Canadian voters, surging ahead of the Marxist-Leninist Party and in a dead heat with the Christian Heritage Party.

Besieged Canadian Alliance Leader Stockwell Day: "double digits, here we come."

Reached for comment in Cold Lake, Alberta, beleaguered Alliance Leader Stockwell Day proclaimed that these latest poll results are proof that the Alliance is back on track and ready to "turn the page."

Directing his comments towards the 13 (as of press time) estranged members of the 'Rebel Alliance' and other party members disgruntled with his leadership, Day was stoic and defiant:

"Canadians are tired of the fighting. They are tired of the divisiveness. They are tired of the present government. Canadians are tired."

After pausing to consult with aides, Day continued: "and nearly one in 20 eligible voters in Canada are ready to move forward with us to fight the Liberals and form the next government."

"Are you ready to join us?" Day then asked a reporter whom he thought was Chuck Strahl.

The latest Hammer/Kapuskasing Kourier/Lloydminster Community Access Television "Taking the Nation's Pulse" Public Opinion Poll

Poll Conducted July 1st Weekend

 

Day refused to answer questions concerning the fact that the Canadian Alliance is still 12 points behind the Rebel Alliance and is presently sitting at 0 per cent support in every province East of Manitoba, questioning the poll's authenticity and methodology.

Alliance Deputy Junior Communications Assistant Stephanie Boomer, B.A., M.A., Ph.D., commented on the Alliance's "upward momentum," boldly proclaiming that both the Trotskyist League and the Natural Law Party are within the Canadian Alliance's target by the next poll, "if all the cards fall into place as we expect them to."

Addressing the 13 dissidents, said Boomer: "it's time to come back to the fold. Let this be a formal olive branch to those treasonous, mutinous bastards."

Posted on July 13th, 2001


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