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An Enthusiastic Michael McMurdo Demonstrates his New Commitment to Healthy Drinking

An Enthusiastic Michael McMurdo Demonstrates his New Commitment to Healthy Drinking
Kelowna's newest health nut Michael McMurdo enjoying a Lite Beer at Duffy's

KELOWNA : 41 year old labourer Michael McMurdo consumed, by his estimation, only 13 beers on Saturday night.

McMurdo, a regular at Kelowna's Duffy's Tavern for 25 years, promised himself to cut back on his drinking since being told recently by his physician that his liver resembled a "baboon's posterior."

"I think that's how she put it," said the divorced maintenance man.

"Doc told me that I'm living on borrowed time if I didn't cut back on the sauce," said McMurdo.

After downing a six pack over the course of the New Jersey-Colorado hockey game, McMurdo left his apartment, conveniently located right above Duffy's, and made his way downstairs, where bartender Lorne Mikkelsen confirmed McMurdo drank "no more than 8 beer" over the remainder of the evening.

Said Mikkelsen, "my tips sure suffered, but Mike's health should be his first priority. I wanna have him as a customer well into the future, so he's gotta be sure he takes care of himself."

McMurdo added that possibly due to the reduction in his alcohol consumption over a normal 24 hour period, he felt "a whole lot less hung" on Sunday. "I felt great-was up at noon even! Normally I don't get up and gather the empties till about 4 on a Sunday. I even walked to the beer store, for Crise sake!"

McMurdo's physcian, Dr. Angela Vactel, differed slightly with McMurdo's version of events, particularly with her alleged usage of the term, "cut back."

"What I in fact told him was that if he did not completely stop drinking immediately, he would not see his next birthday. He drinks more in a day than one human being should consume in a month."

Dr. Vactel also pointed out that if McMurdo were to die suddenly, which she pointed out is a distinct possibility; he wouldn't need to be embalmed, "because he's already pickled."

That being said, McMurdo seems confident that this fledgling commitment to "healthy drinking" could become a habit for him in the future, despite the occasional slip.

"Sunday night, well, I got a little out of hand, I guess you could say-I think I went through the whole two-four (case) of Bud and then, I….er…. I headed downstairs to Duffy's to play some darts and that."

"But I only bought a 12 this afternoon at the Beer Store, and I'll be damned if I can't hold myself to that tonight."

Posted on June 15th, 2001


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