An Enthusiastic Michael McMurdo Demonstrates his New Commitment to Healthy Drinking
|Kelowna's newest health nut Michael McMurdo enjoying a Lite Beer at Duffy's|
KELOWNA : 41 year old labourer Michael McMurdo consumed, by his
estimation, only 13 beers on Saturday night.
McMurdo, a regular at Kelowna's Duffy's Tavern for 25 years, promised
himself to cut back on his drinking since being told recently by
his physician that his liver resembled a "baboon's posterior."
"I think that's how she put it," said the divorced maintenance
"Doc told me that I'm living on borrowed time if I didn't
cut back on the sauce," said McMurdo.
After downing a six pack over the course of the New Jersey-Colorado
hockey game, McMurdo left his apartment, conveniently located right
above Duffy's, and made his way downstairs, where bartender Lorne
Mikkelsen confirmed McMurdo drank "no more than 8 beer"
over the remainder of the evening.
Said Mikkelsen, "my tips sure suffered, but Mike's health
should be his first priority. I wanna have him as a customer well
into the future, so he's gotta be sure he takes care of himself."
McMurdo added that possibly due to the reduction in his alcohol
consumption over a normal 24 hour period, he felt "a whole
lot less hung" on Sunday. "I felt great-was up at noon
even! Normally I don't get up and gather the empties till about
4 on a Sunday. I even walked to the beer store, for Crise sake!"
McMurdo's physcian, Dr. Angela Vactel, differed slightly with McMurdo's
version of events, particularly with her alleged usage of the term,
"What I in fact told him was that if he did not completely
stop drinking immediately, he would not see his next birthday. He
drinks more in a day than one human being should consume in a month."
Dr. Vactel also pointed out that if McMurdo were to die suddenly,
which she pointed out is a distinct possibility; he wouldn't need
to be embalmed, "because he's already pickled."
That being said, McMurdo seems confident that this fledgling commitment
to "healthy drinking" could become a habit for him in
the future, despite the occasional slip.
"Sunday night, well, I got a little out of hand, I guess you
could say-I think I went through the whole two-four (case) of Bud
and then, I
. I headed downstairs to Duffy's to play
some darts and that."
"But I only bought a 12 this afternoon at the Beer Store,
and I'll be damned if I can't hold myself to that tonight."
Posted on June 15th, 2001