Some dude at a house party

Hey there, I know you! Great party, eh? You're friends with Gabe, aren't you? Yeah, you're the guy with that website, right? What's it called again….themallet.com or something? Yeah, yeah, it's great! I really love that…thing you do with that funny guy there.

Actually, you're just the guy I want to talk to. Just a couple of days ago, I was mentioning this to my friend Bob - you've met Bob, right? We came up with this headline the other day, and we thought it was so funny. It's the type of thing that would fit perfect with your site: OK, get this: I can't even say it without laughing….. 'Dalton…what's his name? He's the boss of Ontario now…. Dalton…. McGuinty, that's it? 'Dalton McGuinty is Actually That Guy from Psycho.' Isn't that hilarious? Because, really, they do look alike, you have to admit. Have you ever seen them photographed together?

You can use it and take credit for it if you want, no worries. Or, if you want, I can try writing it for you. Yeah, that would be cool.

And this whole marijuana decriminalization thing that's going on. Isn't that incredible? That is like, funny web site gold! Like, a story on old people getting all high or something, since it's legal now….Hey? Whaddya think?

Actually, I get these ideas all of the time - especially after I've had a few drinks! Like Jennifer Lopez. There's another one. She has got a huge ass. You have got do to something on that.

Maybe your site should have a regular columnist who "assesses" (pardon the pun) the current status of her ass. "Did it get bigger last week? Or smaller?" Highly unlikely!

And Quebec: Do they all still want to separate there? You should do an investigation. A joke one, of course.

Or Chrétien. Man, you've got to do a story on Chrétien. He is hilarious!

Yeah, that is kinda vague, I suppose.

This one's more specific. Don't you think it's weird that that Paul Martin guy is like, Prime Minister, even though he's not? You should do a funny article on that too! I read somewhere that him and Chrétien really don't like each other. Do you think it has something to do with chicks? Did they get in a fight over the same girl?

Don't you think this would be kind of an interesting concept? Saddam Hussein (or that Information Minister dude) turns up working as a greeter at Walmart. That would be one of the funniest stories you could ever come up with. I'd read it.

OK, how's this for a headline: Tom Green….how did it go again? Ah shit, I had it worked out perfectly…It was something to do with Tom Green and…a moose, or meese…is that the plural of moose? You're the writer guy, what's the answer?

Man, I should be writing these down. I wish I could remember all of them.